Listen not at the keyhole lest ye be vexed
by mabelreid
Summary: One Shot Something is going on with Reid and Garcia and Morgan is determined to find out what it is even if he has to listen at her office door MorganGarcia JJRied


**Authors Note: **_Hey everyone. Here is a bit of silliness I came up with while bored to tears at work. Let me know what you think_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything associated with CM, so please don't sue me over this nonsense. _

"JJ what do you think is going on with those two?" Morgan asked throwing down the case file he'd been working on and staring up at Garcia's office. It was 1030 pm and the paperwork was tedious and boring. He wanted to go home, but he also wanted to know what was happening with the computer tech.

"That's the third time you've asked me that in 4 days, why do you care?"

Morgan rolled his eyes at the blond standing next to his desk. "I care because I like her, and you like him and I thought that…"

"What did you think Morgan, that you could flirt with her forever and she'd wait around for you."

"You should talk JJ, you been stringing my man along for years, and you think he'll never get over you, is that it?"

"I'm not having this discussion with you Morgan; it's none of your business." JJ turned to walk away.

"I'm going in there to find out what's going on," He stated.

"Morgan!"

He stood and strode quickly up the stairs towards Garcia's office. He ignored JJ when she called after him. He heard her running to catch up with him. He felt a hand on his arm and she hissed, "Morgan now isn't the time to play the scorned lover, you've never told her how you feel, you barge in there now and you'll look like a jackass."

"Shh…"

"Morgan!"

He gestured to Garcia's office door and it was open a crack.

"_Are you ready," Garcia asked. _

"_Not yet, don't be so impatient."_

"_Wow, I've never seen on of those before."_

"_You're kidding me, right!"_

"_Well sure… in pictures and in the movies but not in real life.'_

"_You're in for a treat, its pretty fun to handle."_

"What are they talking about?" JJ whispered.

"Shh!" Morgan put a finger to his lips and glared at JJ.

"_Are you sure it'll work?" Garcia's voice was a little muffled._

"_Sure it will, I just have to put this here." _

There was a crash and something shattered on the floor."

"_Be careful Reid, this is my office you know."_

"_Sorry, but I can't get it all the way in, it's too tight."_

"_Try twisting it this way."_

Morgancould fell his face getting hot, but this couldn't be happening. It was Garcia and Reid for God's sake.

"Morgan, if their doing what I think, I don't want to hear this, I'll be permanently scarred."

He ignored her, this couldn't be happening. How could this be happening?

"_Reid it's not moving very much, maybe it's stuck."_

"_It's not stuck, I just need too…"_

There was a grunting noise and hard breathing. Morgan felt like his head was going to explode. He wanted to blow through that door and kick Reid's ass for taking advantage of Penelope. A hand fell on his arm and he turned to see JJ with a crimson face shaking her head at him. He realized she was trying desperately not to laugh.

"_Reid, it's too stiff, it won't bend."_

"_It's supposed to be stiff, just let me screw - damn it, the one I had as a kid was a lot easier to play with, this is too complicated."_

"_To think I assumed a genius like your self would know how to use one of these." _

"_There it goes; it's all the way in."_

"_Thank god, now what."_

"_Now we turn it on."_

"_Oh Reid, that's so cool."_

"_Yeah, isn't it great, see I told you it'd be worth the wait,"_

"That's it; Morgan growled softly, "I'm going in there now!"

"Morgan… would you just wait a minute"

He hit the door like he was taking down an exceptionally vicious unsub. It rebounded off the wall and Reid had time to say "Morgan, what the hell." before Morgan grabbed him and hauled him out of the room. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass from here to next Tuesday and back."

"Morgan I -"

"Derek Morgan, let him go, have you lost your freakin mind."

"Penelope stay out of this, I'm gonna hurt him for taking advantage of you."

"Derek just what the hell are you talking about?"

The red haze that covered his eyes began to recede and he realized three things. Reid and Garcia were fully clothed, all zippers up and they were dressed very strangely. He also saw that JJ was laughing hysterically.

"Reid what the hell are you wearing and what are you holding?"

Reid backed away from him and tried to hide behind Garcia. "Ah - it's a replica light saber, and this is my costume."

"What," Morgan asked, completely confused.

"We're going to a midnight showing of Star Wars at the Capital theatre you big bruiser. You been listening to me talk about it for weeks. It's a thirtieth anniversary celebration of the original theatrical release. You refused to accompany me, so I asked Reid."

"But I heard…" He couldn't go on, it was too embarrassing.

"You heard what Derek, why are you so pissed at Reid, he didn't do anything."

Reid began to laugh, "Derek she was helping me put the batteries in the light saber, see." He clicked it on and a neat purple laser shot out of one end.

"My favorite Jedi Knight is Mace Windu."

"Is that who you're supposed to be?"

"Me, no way, I'm not shaving my head. I'm Jedi Knight Number 4 from the Revenge of the Sith."

"Jedi number 4!" JJ said, her face returning to its normal color, but she still giggled.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, go have fun."

Garcia threw her keys to Reid, who dropped them, and had to run down the stairs to the bull pen to retrieve them.

"Go keep Esther company Reid, I'll be out soon."

Reid left, his face flaming, and Garcia rounded on Morgan. "How dare you barge into my office and pull a stunt like that."

"Sweetness, I'm really sorry I -"

"Don't me call that, Spencer Reid is a perfect gentleman and he'd never try to… Well I can't say it.

Morgan stepped forward, pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She nearly fell when he finally released her as her knees were complete jelly.

"Ah - what are you doing?"

"Penelope, I love you, I want you and no one else." He could hardly breathe; he never thought kissing her would make him feel like swooping down off the top of the first tall hill of a roller coaster.

Penelope laughed with delight. "You were jealous, weren't you gorgeous."

"Yes, damn it I was so jealous I - well I broke down your door, are you happy now?"

"Yes, I am."

"So what do you say, do you want to be with me."

"Yes, you gorgeous profiler I want to be with you!"

He kissed her again and she said, "Sorry babe, I have to go or Reid and I will be late."

"Don't go baby girl."

"I promised him I would go."

"Oh alright, have fun. But I want to see you tomorrow night."

"You got it baby." She turned to walk away and Morgan said. "By the way gorgeous, the costume's great, but I like the gold bikini in Return of the Jedi better."

"Behave yourself and I might just wear it some day."

"Yes ma'am, may I escort your highness to the car?"

"You may, my gorgeous prince."

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He walked her out to her beloved car and when they rounded an SUV next to her vehicle, Morgan began to laugh at the sight in front of him. Reid and JJ were standing next to the car kissing. It looked like a bomb blast wouldn't have disturbed them.

"Hey Reid way to go my man," he said, still snickering.

They sprang apart, both of them blushing crimson. "Ah - we were just talking."

"Yeah I saw that Reid. What language was that, French?"

Garcia giggled and Morgan slapped Reid on the shoulder as JJ boldly kissed him again. She said, "ignore them, baby. We're on for tomorrow right?" She winked and Reid stammered, "ah - y-yeah JJ, s-sure." Morgan watched him, watch her, sashay away between cars till she got into her own and drove away.

"Come on Reid, lets get going, we're late."

Morgan watched them drive away and he thought of something his mother used to say all the time. "Listen not at the keyhole lest ye be vexed." Yeah he could get behind that sentiment!


End file.
